Susan C. Beer

The statistics are outstanding. According to the United States Census Bureau, there are 11,398,000 widows in the US. This represents almost 25% of the single woman populace of 57,756,000 over the age of 15. Furthermore, 41.9% of women 65 and older are widows.

Move On Without Me
By: Susan C. Beer

Susan Beer, herself a widow, found undiscovered strength at the time of her loss and now shares it in her new book, Move On Without Me (Hatherleigh Press, 2010). Move On Without Me is an honest and touching book about the first year of widowhood and explores all the moments of heartache, fear, anger, grief, and, later, insight and courage experienced as the author came to grips with the monumental changes in her life brought about by her husband’s sudden passing.

Each chapter explores a unique topic, from how to face challenges, ways to express gratitude, and what strength means. Susan also reexamines the word “widowhood” and moves beyond the traditional, bleak connotation of a widow to a new definition of hope in spite of heartache. Move On Without Me helps widows come to grips with the past and the present, so they can embrace the future.

Susan offers these simple, hopeful approaches:

Focus on the positives. He is forever in your heart and in your memories. What was enhances you, not depletes you. So, focus on what you gained, not what you lost and be grateful. Start a gratitude list.

Congratulate yourself on your accomplishments. It may just be getting through the day but you did it. One step, one day, after another. Praise yourself as you discover hidden strength.

Acknowledge regrets. You will have regrets. We all do. Transform them into learning experiences.

Make yourself the priority. Be honest with yourself, and others. Only you know what you need, where you are, how you are. No one can answer this or do it for you.

Get up, get dressed and get out. Do something that makes you feel good about you: take a walk, exercise, get your hair done (or even better have your hair restyled), have a manicure, have lunch or dinner with a friend. And while you are out there, smile. Not only does it make you feel good, it attracts more of the same.

Be human. It’s okay to be needy. It's like the pregnant woman who craves ice cream with pickles. It's normal. You have suffered a most horrific loss.

Realize that friendship changes as do friends. Some are there for a reason, some for a season and others for a lifetime. Some will bring you grace. Some are waiting for you to say "I am ready." Some are afraid. Some will leave. Some will come. It is simply the way it is.

Moving on is without choice. Be it positively or woe is me, your life continues. How you do so is your choice.